(minor spoilers within)

Pentagon, Ultimate Universe

To Natalia Romonoff (aka The Black Widow): A tribunal, formed to investigate the recent actions of S.H.I.E.L.D. in wake of the recent attack on New York by alien forces, has determined that the following incidents were mishandled:

When the base was being hacked by an external source, there was no effort made to physically prevent the base's mainframe from being accessed.

The events around the alien attack on the New York S.H.I.E.L.D. base are even more alarming.  The first thing the commanding officer did, upon learning of the imminent attack, was to downgrade the base's security level from Defcon Four to Defcon Five.

An all-out, air attack with the full knowledge that the conventional, aircraft weapon has no affect on the alien ships.  The carrier, it's aircraft, and all hands were needlessly lost.

S.H.I.E.L.D. foot soldiers were ordered to fight, even though their weapons were also known to be worthless.  Heavy casualties were suffered.

The base contained a large assortment of non-coms and civilian scientists.  None of which were evacuated before the attack.  There was only one survivor.

This series of events can not be overlooked as simple accidents or incompetence.  The sheer wonton loss of life is staggering.  This has led this tribunal to conclude that the crime of Treason has been committed against the United States of America by the presiding officer of S.H.I.E.L.D., General Nick Fury.

You are hereby commanded forthwith to relieve General Nick Fury of duty and bring him to the Pentagon where he can stand trial.  Dated: 23 April 2006.  General Sam Lane, presiding.

Confused?  Cartoon Network had a broadcast of Ultimate Avengers Saturday night.  It's movie based on a comic book called The Ultimates.

I haven't read the comic book, since I don't generally read Marvel comic books unless they happen to be killing off superheroes, but the Internet forums think the book the movie was based off of is super-good.

The animation is okay (very anime-like coloring).  The characters aren't that bad (although you wouldn't mistake any of them as being from something other than a comic book).

Other than the flawed strategy mentioned in the Arrest Warrant above, my biggest gripe was the whole way Hulk was handled.  They have a battle scene, featuring Hulk, that is incredibly boring.  You know nothing will come out of it and exactly how it will end before it even starts.  Yet, it just keeps going.  On and on.  To make matters worse, it is setup by a deus ex machina (which is always frustrating/annoying/disappointing in its own right).

So, to summarize:  Marvel, if you want to make more animated movies, please send me an e-mail and we can discuss my terms (for me to write it).

Bibliography: The only example I could find through searching of an Arrest Warrant was the Arrest_warrant page on wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arrest_warrant).

So the oscar nominations are out, and it seems that the academy decided to suck up to 'big money hollywood', rather than recognize the truly great films of the past year.

Aviator, Finding Neverland, Ray, and $1M Baby?  Pshaw...  How could four bio-pics be the four best movies?  Maybe it's just me, but I prefer my fiction to be just that -- fiction.  None of this dramatized life of hardship that leads to redemption horse-hockey!!1!  Although, at least there weren't any horse films nominated.  I guess that could have been worse.

Sidways?  It's okay... but if that is the bar than 2004 was one of the worst years on record.  Considering* 'tis rivals, I have no choice but to throw my vote** behind 'Sideways' -- for it isn’t a bio-pic.  Thus, ‘Sideways’ deserves that most prestigious honor of having its name enshrined on a column next to the Kodiak Theatre (and something about being forever remembered as 'Best Picture 2004').  Wow.

There was an inordinate amount of poorness in the movies shown last year, so I'm having trouble figuring out what I would have nominated.  Probably 'King Arthur' since, although it was a bio-pic and advertised itself as more real than butter, it was the biggest piece of fiction in the last thirty years.  And it had Kiera Knightly in it, and as everyone knows, Kiera Knightly is the sexiest woman of all time.  Although, Natalie Portman should be much higher than #14, but I guess the fact that she got a supporting actress nomination should make up for it.

Anyways, to make a short story long, if there is any justice left in Hollywood then 'Team America: World Police' wins an award for score/song.  But I couldn't find those nominations so it might not be even possible.

* This might be a dangling participle.  One can always dream, can't they?  One can always dream...

Just saw the late show of the movie Closer:

Overall: (6.8/9.6)

Pro: I read a synopsis about the movie aforehand, and it seemed to have an interesting anti-moral (love is built on lies).  And it features Natalie Portman, who is one of my favorite actors.  The dialog was well written.  Especially when characters were first meeting one another.  The majority of the acting was good as well.

Con:   It seemed to take a long time to play out as there really wasn't anything driving the story along.  The use of time was greatly upseting -- half of every scene was spent playing the 'guess how much time has passed since the last scene' game.  Also, the chemistry was somewhat forced; everyone was magically in love with each other, but you wouldn't have known if they didn't say it.  Even when the characters did profess their love, I was never sure if they were being deceptive or not.  Considering how important love was to this film, that's a big reason there is such a rating disparity.

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I haven't blogged a film review in 6+ years.  Not sure if this is the best format (it's an abbreviation of my game review format) -- give me some feedback on what you think about it.  Normally I'd add the genres and technical sections, but I don't really feel like it right now.  Sorry.