Not quite accurate reporting from Reuters (link by way of CNET: Sony announces development tools for PS3 | CNET News.com) to which I apply StrawMan-esque tactics to prove myself the greater satirist:

Quote:

The company had said in May at the Electronic Entertainment Expo that it planned to launch PlayStation 3 in 2006, but there had been concern in the development community about the immense cost of creating games with movie-quality graphics for a machine with unparalleled [sic] processing speed. 

(bold added by me)

From what I understand, the PlayStation 3 would be better described as a machine with paralleled processing speed.  As it has 7 SPE's that operate in parallel.

Quote:

"Things that we thought were only possible in movies are now possible in games," Ken Kutaragi, Sony's game division head, told a meeting of developers, suppliers and media.

(again, bold added by me)

What is that, excessive ticket and concession prices?  Lack of cell-phone use, communicating with friends, and smoking?  Fact: games are a more expressive medium than movies. 

Yes, I realize they are only talking about the graphics.  And it is the evil, hu-man-hunting robot (aka Ken Kutaragi) being quoted.  Sigh.  Games as we know it are doomed.  Except without the doom since that's a game.  So I guess they are just ed.

Quote:

Sony has said the PS3 will feature a graphics chip with 300 million transistors, more than the combined processing power of the current-generation Xbox from Microsoft, Game Cube from Nintendo and the PlayStation 2 combined.

(by know you should have figured out how bold works)

Statistics can kill.  The Three Six Oh was reported as having more transistors.  Not that the number of transitors really matters outside of being a statistic.  The thing that worries me most is that statistics are a great weapon to kill hu-mans with, since robots are optomized for computational reasoning -- which makes them impervious to statistics!!!  Our own chance is to use our spatial recongnition and throwing abilities to fend off their growing army.  I'm scared   someone please hold me!!1!11!

Basically, I declare Shenanigans [sp]*.  Now if only I had some way of letting the innocent masses know about my Shenanigans claim, Kutaragi and I would be able to talk like civil gentlemen and work out our differences.**

*[sp] Means I don't know how to spell the word and I don't care to figure it out.  Ignorance is bliss.  But what is more like bliss is... hrmmm, I don't know.

** I'm not sure what I mean by this.  Hopefully he doesn't realize I'm bluffing and call me on it.  And hopefully you don't either.

It seems that West Virginia is the most progressive member of the United States:  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7475440/?GT1=6428 [link whereby it is revealed that lawmakers accidentally voted on and ratified a law which results in English become the state's official language]

Now don't get me wrong (based off of the title to this post), this would be a huge problem for me -- my English is worse than a zoo has kangaroos!  As you might be aware, some of you hu-mons learn another language before learning the 'Great American Language' of English.  These 'non-native speakers' will sometimes reveal their non-nativeness by having an accent, using inappropriate mannerisms, or through general, communication problems.*

Whaevah (I'll do what I want).  I don't even have that excuse.  My 'American' is sooooo pour that people make fun of me.   

Regardless, it's about time that someone got an official langauge recognized within the United States.  Hopefully, more states will follow West Virginia's lead -- yes, the only lead in that pitiful states entire existance.   Specifically, I'm hoping that Washington [State]'s legislature makes the right decision with my 'Free Money for Homeless Paid for with Large Tax Breaks for the Rich' Bill since it happens to have a cleverly worded amendment in the middle:

PL33z Mak3 l337 an OFf1C1al laN9aU93, l3915latur3 d00dz (je rap vaD tlhIngan Hol). 

* Yes, sometimes people learn English very well.  More power to them.  If you bothered to read the article in chronological layout you would have realized that this paragraph is what us learned, satirists refer to as the 'set-up' for the self-deprecating 'punch-line' that follows in the next paragraph.  Stop being such a sensitive 'nanny' about the fact that some people might have trouble communicating in English and go read a book or something.

http://hardware.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/04/06/0311236

Someone finally made an armed, piloted, two-legged giant robot.  Wow.

If I had one I'd probably use it to destroy a city.  It's a good thing I don't have one, yet.