All satirist keep a list.  Santa also keeps a list.  Hrmm....

I hate to digress, but does anyone know why kept lists are referred to as 'laundry lists'?  When does anyone use a list when making laundry?  Any paper I leave in the washing machine gets ruined.  Maybe I'm doing something wrong?

Anyways, I haven't really made much progress against my list.  I thought of doing something with it for NaNoWriMo, but I didn't get as far as I would have liked.  I think it is because lists are so overwhelming.  There is so much to do, and -- like Twix bars -- it is hard to choose just one:

<excerpt>
9.  People who don't use turn signals
10. People who drive slowly in the left lane
11. Stores that close early
12. Patrons that show up right before close
</excerpt>

The point (does lordpi.com ever have one?) is that it's good to make a list, but it is better to make progress.  Unlike clocks, stopped lists aren't going to be correct 1-3 times a day.*  Let's make the world a better place by working on the contents of our lists.  But don't go overboard -- we don't want to make it too good of a place: it would obviate the need for satire.

Without satire I would probably have to write about video game programming or something similarly productive/useful.  Ugh.

* It is a common misconception that a stopped clock shows the correct time twice a day.  However, this doesn't account for clocks that are displaying military time or for clocks that are showing a time during daylight savings changes.

In my previous Video Game Recipe post, I described the secret recipe to making a video game.  It was kind of weird.

Basically, it broke down to: a video game only requires one good game mechanic, some sound, and some art.  It left out a lot, and had a bunch of mixing/baking steps.  I challenged our dear readers to try and figure out what was meant by the analogy.

Here is what I thought it meant:

1. 1 good game mechanic: if you don't have a game mechanic to build around, there won't be much of a video game.  So stop right now and go back to trolling forums on the Internet.
2. 12oz Sound FX and 1 can Art and Animations: sound and graphics help immerse the player.  They aren't as important as gameplay, but they are the tools you will use to communicate with your player(s).  Well, you can also communicate through rumble, if the input device is advanced enough to support it.
3. 2 large eggs: this was a bad joke.  I would have used a better one, but I'm lacking in wit.  However, good game mechanics are hard to recognize, so don't be surprised if you add three eggs.
4. Zero story: story has nothing to do with games as previously asserted in other articles on this site.  I'm sorry if you believe otherwise.
5. Zero characters/setting: not all games have/need characters or a setting.  Feel free to season the dish with them if you aren't making a 'Match 3' clone.
6. Zero controls: I believe controls are a fundamental part of the game mechanics -- input shouldn't be thought of as a separate component.
7. Zero programming and game engines: Writing machine instructions in an esoteric language has nothing to do with making a video game.  This doesn't mean that a video game can be made without it: this is your mixing bowl, nothing more.
8. Zero testing: testing (or sometimes referred to as Quality Assurance) is essential for a good video game.  It's not an ingredient, but the oven.  The heat (and time) help eliminate the harmful bacteria (aka bugs) that occur naturally in uncooked products.
9. Other game mechanics: it's important to have multiple, simultaneous game mechanics for modern video games to be interesting to most consumers.  I recommend adding other mechanics, as long as they don't sour the core mechanic.  But it's okay if you don't.  I'll understand.

How well did you do?  Score one point for each of the above that you guessed correctly.

If you got 0-2: you are a bloody narrativist.  Go back to your strike or write a book or something.

If you got 3-6: you are an intelligent individual.  I'm quite surprised someone could get this many, with how bad the analogy was.  As long as you didn't get #4 wrong, feel free to work in the video game industry.

If you got 7-9: you are a cheater.  There isn't any other way you could get that many correct.  However, if you didn't cheat (yeah, right) I probably should offer you some sort of prize.  How about 'GOOD JOB'?

If you got 10+: you are a huge cheater.  The game only went to nine, so I'm not sure what you are thinking by claiming this score.  Please stop playing video games until you gain some maturity, since you are obviously a griefer and probably communicate solely through swear words.  And you wonder why it is that your mother has to drink so much every night?